I am a woman possessed...or was. Now I'm tired. Emotionally drained? Gee ya think?
I've have tackled jobs in my house that I've been avoiding for months. I have exhausted myself physically this weekend. Its good to see progress but I think all the avoiding is wearing me out, as well.
I try not to think about the time...how much time this all will take. How much time we'll be apart and there is nothing I can do about it. Its not like she'll be on the west coast and I'm on the east, that I can hop a flight and be there by tomorrow. It just doesn't work that way. And that is conceptually hard for me.
She has asked me to think in small bites, like small milestone events. Which has made things a little more bearable over the past year or so, but now is when the time stretches out. And the milestone events are holidays coming up, and then the holidays we won't spend together. That's when I have trouble.
I get hormonal, I get sad, and then I over-think and get a little freaky to be honest. Which, of course is now, the first weekend. So lets hope that this will be the first major hurdle and I'll be over it soon.
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Thank You.